things i want ~ birthday countdown .+*14*+.

2 weeks until my birthday! eeek! So I would like to take some time to showcase what my needs & desires to my friends & family over the next 14 days {wink*wink}! I am going to start with the fantasy gift of a dreamer, a deteriorated & super creepy Victorian buggy. It would be perfect if I had a mansion with an extra room. A possible gift for the me of the future? So, maybe you can just take some notes for now & file this one away. But, if I ever do end up in a mansion I would dedicate a room to this antique buggy & get it 2 taxidermy miniature ponies. Or maybe the taxidermy ponies could be included in the gift?

{via deteriorated decrepit victorian buggy}

Don't You Wish They All Could be 24kt Gold Bugs?

{image credit: Mark}

Today a spider crawled across my desk. I totally freaked out. Though he was only a tiny jumper spider I couldn't rest until I found him.....and killed him. I started to sweat as my anxiety turned to panic looking for him. The whole experience of spiders in my space is a lot like going to the dentist, it's painfully uncomfortable, but you know the out come of not going will be way worse. If he got away I would spend rest of the day worrying that he is crawling on me. So I sucked it up found him and exterminated him. Harsh, I know and it even could be considered cruel to some, but it was necessary for my sanity.

After all this I decided my desk needs a good cleaning since more spiders could be loitering, of course. Though logically I know spiders are territorial. The anxiety, paranoia and panic had all set in. There was no logic. I started to imagine an army of tiny spiders hiding in the beads and paint brushes.

So I started to clean. And to my pleasant surprise I found a large dead moth in perfect condition. I know, right?! How could this tiny spider have induced such panic + chaos and this big moth induce pleasure + delight? It made me think about what is beautiful, what is scary, what happens when scary becomes beautiful and beautiful becomes scary?

{image via: Flickr}

Here are some beautiful of things that creep me out. Bats, I think they are beautiful, but when they are flying over my head at dusk in a big swarm, they give me the chills. I start wondering what they are foreshadowing...a earthquake, accident? Flies disturb me because I am paranoid of germs. But, if you ever take a real good close look at them, like this golden fly with ruby eyes, they can be real intriguing and beautiful. Spider webs..whenever I walk into one I get the urge to vomit. Spider webs that lead into darkness, like this picture usually have me thinking dreadful thoughts of black widow orgies deep within. This frost sprinkled web is so gorgeous I almost forgot a spider made it. The wall below is a splinter party waiting to happen. Splinters lodged right between your finger nail are the worst. You might as well just jam an x-acto blade up there. This distressed wall is gorgeous, splinters and all. And lastly, big flying bugs make me jump especially if they buzz or hum...make ANY noise for that matter, but if they were all dipped in 24kt gold I would definitely more tolerant to them.

What is beautiful to you...that also creeps you out?